Truth
by royalsapphire
Summary: This is my idea of what could happen on the season premiere
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: This story picks up where "Adrift-Part 1" left off. Anyone who reads this should watch that episode first, or this may not make much sense. This has a lot of angst and emotion so if you don't like that stuff I suggest going on to another fanfic. J  
  
This is dedicated to Meg who inspired me to actually sit down and start writing! Thanks Meg!  
  
Truth  
  
Mac had not wanted to betray her true feelings by letting anyone see her crying, but when Mic turned her around he knew the truth. She would have been hurt and worried over the possible loss of a partner and friend but tears like that were not the kind that would be shed for a friend, or even a best friend.   
"You love him, don't you?" he asked gently. Sarah was too devastated and crying too hard to answer. From her own childhood to her training as a marine and from Bosnia to the courtroom she had seen all sorts of things which had toughened her over the years. She thought after everything she had been through nothing could throw her again, but in this room under these circumstances she didn't know what to do. The man she adored was out somewhere in the Atlantic, in a horrific storm, possibly dead or dying, and the man she had tried desperately to love was feeling hopeless standing in front of her as he realized fully for the first time what his fiancée's true feelings were.   
Mic saw that she didn't know what to do. His heart was shattered knowing that she loved Harm and not him, but he still cared for her. He took her in his arms and let her cry. . .   
Half an hour later, Mic still held Sarah in his arms. She had only stopped sobbing a minute or two ago. He wanted to say something to her, but she might pull away if he did, and he didn't want to take a chance. He couldn't shake the feeling that this would be the last time he would ever be able to hold her and he had no desire to let go just yet.   
Mac felt sick. She kept thinking about the words she had said to him right before he left. Why hadn't she wished him luck? What if he died thinking that she was mad at him? Harm had been in many tight spots before and had come through them alright, but he might not live to tell about this one. On the other hand, Mic, the man she was engaged to, was holding her even though he now knew that she was in love with someone else.   
"I'm crying over another man and here he is trying to comfort me," Sarah thought to herself. She pulled back.  
"I'm sorry."  
"Don't worry about it, Sarah. We're all concerned about Harm." She looked up at him weakly, then looked down at her ring without saying anything. "I don't guess we're going to be having a wedding tomorrow, are we?" She shook her head.   
"Are we going to be having a wedding ever?" Mac lifted her head almost in shock.  
"How could you ask me that at a time like this? My best friend could be dead or dying and you can just sit there and ask me about a wedding plan?"  
"It's not just a 'wedding plan.' It's our wedding plan. Our future. When should I ask you about it?" Mic's tone was soft and gentle, but still firm. "I'm starting to wonder if this is such a good idea at all. You say your best friend is dead or dying, but as your fiancée I thought I was your best friend. If I'm not maybe we shouldn't be getting married." Mac almost couldn't believe what she was hearing, but she had to admit that he did have a point.  
"Sarah, love, when I saw you crying just now I knew you cared for him in a way that goes beyond friendship." When she started to object, he stopped her. "No. It's time for both of us to face the truth. If we married you'd always be wondering 'what if' and I'd always have to wonder whether or not you truly loved me or if you just settled for me because you couldn't have the person you really loved. That's no way to start a marriage."   
"Mic. . . I don't know what to say."   
"I suppose I always knew it was going to come to this. I guess I just always hoped if I held in there a little longer you might come around to really loving me."  
"I've been really horrible to you, haven't I?"  
"Sarah, don't do that to yourself, really love. It's alright. You can't always help how you feel. I wish you could. That would probably make this a lot easier."  
"I feel so terrible for putting you through this."  
"Don't. I put myself through it. I always knew in the back of my mind that Harm was the one you wanted. I just never wanted to admit it." He took her left hand and slid the ring off her finger.  
"I'm really sorry. You're a good man, Mic Brumby. You didn't deserve this."  
"I'm sorry, too. I really did care for you." They sat in silence for a moment, neither knowing what to say. Finally Mac broke the silence.  
"Mic, will you do me one last favor?"  
"What, love?"  
"Give that to someone who deserves it and will love you as much as you loved me." He smiled faintly and kissed her cheek, then stood up.  
"I'll take care of the wedding arrangements. You just worry about getting Harm back."  
"Thank you. I really hope you find someone who makes you happy."  
"Good-bye, Sarah." He waited until he had walked out the door to let the tears come. "I'll never find anyone else like you."  
  
**********  
  
Somewhere out in the Atlantic Harmon Rabb, Jr. was adrift in the waves, with the storm around him growing worse and worse. Though it was hard to think of anything else but catching a breath in the back of his mind he was aware that there was a good chance that a rescue operation would be difficult, if at all possible in a storm like the one he was in. Once the wind and rain died down someone would be sent out looking for him, but until then he would have to stay conscious.   
The only thing he could manage to focus on at the moment was staying above water and getting enough air, but with the strength and size of the waves both tasks were becoming increasingly difficult as time went on. He had been in dangerous situations before, but he was never more terrified than he was now. There were innumerable things that could potentially happen to a person in his situation. He could drown, pass out from exhaustion, die from hypothermia, be hit in the head with something and be knocked unconscious, or any number of other things. But by far the worst thing about the situation was that no matter what happened, he could do next to nothing about it. Helplessness was a feeling he hated, perhaps more that any other.   
Soon he lost track of time. Harm didn't know if he had been in the water for minutes or for hours. All he knew was that it felt like he'd been down for days. The cold of the water was starting to take effect as he felt his body temperature drop. He was also becoming more and more tired. In his mind, he kept telling himself to fight, and to stay awake, but it was getting harder and harder to do that, and after a while he could barely think straight enough to repeat the words in his head. The strength he had to fight off the effects of the sea was declining more and more rapidly. At some point Mac crossed his mind for a moment, but it didn't take much time after that until he slipped into unconsciousness.  
  
**********  
  
Sarah was still sitting in a dark room by herself contemplating what had happened to Harm, when Harriet tentatively knocked on the door.  
"Ma'am, may I come in?" Mac offered her a weak smile and nodded. "Are you okay, Colonel? Everyone's been worried about you."  
"I'll be alright," she lied. "Did you need something?"  
"Oh, I was just going to tell you that the Admiral has told everyone that they should go home for an hour to change clothes and take care of anything else we need to deal with since the rescue is still on hold because of the storm and then report to JAG headquarters where we'll set everything up again."  
"Alright." Mac slowly got up.  
"Ma'am, are you sure you're alright?" She started to nod, but when she saw the genuine concern in her friend's eyes she thought better of it.   
"Harriet, I'll be alright when I see that Harm is safe." The junior officer nodded.  
"I understand."  
  
An hour later Admiral Chegwidden walked into his office at the JAG headquarters and saw Mac, Renee, Harriet, Bud, Chloe, and Tiner waiting for him. It took about six minutes to get the equipment set up, and by that time Gunnery Sergeant Galindez, Lt. Singer, and Mic had joined them. At that point the Admiral started talking to the captain of the U.S.S. Patrick Henry, which was in control of the rescue operation.   
"Captain Ingles, this is Admiral Chegwidden. Anything new?"  
"Yes, sir. The storm appears to be clearing and we are sending up a chopper to re-commence search and rescue." The people in A.J.'s office and on board the bridge of the Patrick Henry waited as the first helicopter took off and headed in the direction of the crash. Two more helos quickly followed. Time seemed to pass slowly for everyone. Gunnery Srgt. Galindez and Tiner had gotten chairs for everyone, while Harriet had gotten some coffee and soft drinks that had barely been touched. Bud kept getting up and pacing, then sitting back down only to get back up two minutes later. Renee had been tapping her nails off and on in a very annoying fashion, but no one seemed to care, or even take notice. The Admiral had been talking periodically and listening to Captain Ingles and the search team. Mic was standing by his desk listening and watching Mac, who had been staring out the window into the rain, with a bleak, pale expression on her face, with her 'little sister' at her feet. Chloe had been looking back and forth between the various people in the room, but her gaze most often fell on her 'big sister' and the Admiral as he talked to the Captain.  
One hour and thirty-four minutes after they all got to office they heard what they had been waiting for.   
"This is Eagle-Eye Two. We are picking up a homing signal and are moving in for a closer look."  
"Eagle-Eye, this is Captain Ingles, do you see anything?"  
"Yes, sir, we are now at fifteen feet above the water and we are seeing a flashing light and a person. We are sending someone down to retrieve him." Renee let out a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding, while Mac gripped the armrests of her chair so hard her fingers hurt.  
"This is Eagle-Eye. We have the Commander on board and he is alive, but unconscious, and needs medical attention as soon as possible. Request permission to fly to Bethesda Hospital."  
"Permission granted."  
"We're on our way. Over."  
Chloe broke out into a grin. "That means he's okay, right? He's alive. We can go see him?"  
"We can go to the hospital, but we don't know what his condition is yet except that he's unconscious," Mac told her, but she was breathing a little easier than she had been. But only by a little bit. Bud and Harriet gave each other a quick hug, too, as the Admiral said a few words of thanks to Captain Ingles and the rescue team.   
"Well, what are we waiting for! Let's get to the hospital. I need to see him," Renee said.   
"Alright, people, can I have your attention," A.J. said loudly. "Now I know we all want to get to the hospital, but we may not know anything for a while, so may I suggest that if you need to do anything, go ahead and do it and if you have anything to keep you occupied while we're waiting, bring it. If you don't know how to get to Bethesda, let me know and you can follow me there. Let's go."  
  
**********  
  
Sarah made it to Bethesda in record time and practically ran with Chloe to the hospital entrance. As soon as they came in they spotted Renee.  
"Where is he?" Mac heard her saying.  
"Who are you looking for?" asked a woman behind the information desk, who looked vaguely amused.  
"What?" she said, looking confused.  
"His name is Harmon Rabb, Jr." Mac said, walking up behind the agitated blond. "R-A-B-B." Renee, who was feeling slightly embarrassed, scowled at her boyfriend's partner. The receptionist typed something on her computer as the two women waited impatiently.  
"Okay. Rabb, Harmon. He's on the fifth floor." Mac gave her a quick thank you, then started running towards the elevators with Chloe and Renee. They were almost there when the Admiral walked in with Bud and Harriet.   
"Colonel!" A.J. called out. Colonel MacKenzie turned around as they came towards her. "Do you know anything about how he's doing?"  
"No, sir. Not yet. He's on the fifth floor. We're all headed there now." She turned around to face Chloe and Renee, only Renee was gone.   
"She already left," explained Chloe, seeing her big sister's confused expression.  
"Oh. Okay. She must have gone upstairs already," said Mac.  
"Well," said the Admiral, "I think we should join her and find out how he is."  
"Yes, sir."  
A minute later the elevator door was opening onto the fifth floor, and the five of them walked out. They heard Renee before they saw her. As they came around a corner they could see her chewing out a rather bewildered looking doctor. As the doctor saw Admiral Chegwidden coming down the hall towards him he stood at attention, but Harm's girlfriend still yelled at him.   
"What do you mean he might not make it?" Sarah froze where she was at as her face went pale. Chloe put her arms around Mac and started crying. Tears also started streaming down Harriet's face while Bud tried to comfort her. The Admiral told the doctor, a captain, to stand at ease. Renee was now crying, so A.J. put a hand on her shoulder and started asking the captain questions.  
"What condition is he in?"  
"I'm afraid he's in a coma and in critical condition. We're trying to stabilize him now. He's got some cuts and bruises, and had some water in his lungs and stomach which we're trying to get out. Also, while he was in the water his body temperature dropped considerably, so it needs to be brought back up. What happens in the next twenty-four hours will be an important indicator of how well he will recover, or if he will recover at all."   
"What do you mean 'if he will recover at all'?"   
"Unfortunately there is a chance he won't make it through the night." A.J. drew in a sharp breath, and stood silently a moment before asking the next question.  
"How great a chance?" Now it was the captain's turn to hesitate. He glanced in Chloe's direction for a moment, then looked back at the Admiral.  
"About a seventy-five to eighty percent chance, I'd say." Harriet's hand flew to her mouth, while Renee and Chloe, who had become more quiet as A.J. asked the doctor questions, both started sobbing again. Bud moved over to a chair and sat down, in shock, while his wife went over to Renee and pulled her into her arms. Mac had been listening, but still had not moved from where she was at. She felt numb, and looked like she was just staring down the hall in a trance. Everyone was silent for about a minute until Bud spoke up.  
"How muck longer will it be before you kno-"  
"Can I see him?" Mac startled everyone when she interrupted Bud.  
"I'm sorry ma'am, we're keeping him isolated right now since his condition is still unstable and someone is still working on him."  
"I-I need to see him. Please. I need to tell him…" Her voice left her and the captain looked on sympathetically.  
"I really am sorry, Colonel." Tears were streaming down her face again, only this time she didn't care who saw her. She and Chloe moved over to a bench near where Bud was sitting and held each other. A.J. spoke up again to repeat Lt. Roberts' question.  
"How long will it be before you know whether or not he will make a recovery?"  
"We may know in twelve hours or so, but it may take up to twenty-four. It depends on how well he reacts to the medication and how fast he warms up."  
"Has his mother been contacted yet?"  
"Yes, sir. She was called about an hour ago and informed of the situation."  
"Good." Admiral Chegwidden looked back at Mac. "Do you know how long it will be before we're able to see him?"  
"No, sir. You'll probably be able to see him when we get his condition stabilized, but that could take a few hours. What I recommend at this point is that everyone go home, take care of anything that needs to be taken care of, and if you plan to stay at the hospital make arrangements for that and possibly get some sleep or something to eat. It will be a while before we can tell you anything or before you'll be able to see him, so there's no point being here at the moment. If you plan to come back and stay for a long time I would bring a pillow and something to do. If you all give me your phone numbers I will be more than willing to call you if anything changes."  
"Alright. Thank you, captain. Do you have any paper we could write our numbers down on?"  
"Yes, sir. I'll go get it."  
"Okay, everyone, when he comes back I want you to write down your numbers for him and then go home, get something to eat and get some rest and then report back here at 0700 hours."  
"Excuse me?" said Renee.  
"Oh, sorry," said the Admiral. "That's seven o'clock tomorrow morning."   
"But, sir, we can't just leave him," Mac said.  
"We are not 'just leaving him,' Colonel. You heard the doctor. We can't do anything for him at this point, and exhausting ourselves isn't going to do any good. Now, we've all had a very long night and need to get some rest, so let's do as the doctor advised and meet back here tomorrow… no… Excuse me, later this morning. If we start sitting around here now we're just going to torture ourselves with nothing to do." Just then the doctor walked up with pieces of paper and the Admiral gave a stern look that meant there was going to be no more discussion on the matter.   
"Colonel?" Lt. Sims asked.  
"Yes, Harriet?"  
"Would you like us to take Chloe? I mean…do you need some time to yourself?" Mac's 'little sister' looked back and forth between the two of them and Harriet smiled at her. "Is that okay with you, sweetie?" Chloe Madison frowned thoughtfully for a moment, then looked at Mac.  
"I'd really rather go with you, but if you need some time alone, I'll stay with them. I've still got my bookbag in your car so I have what I need for the night." She paused then added quietly, "Whatever you want. I know he means a lot to you, Sarah." Her big sister looked up, somewhat shocked that Chloe had used her first name, and saw nothing but concern in the 12-year-old's eyes.   
"Are you sure you don't mind?"   
"I'm sure."   
"Alright. Thank you. I guess I really do need time to sort things out. Thank you, too, Harriet." She smiled faintly.  
"You're welcome ma'am. We'll see you back here tomorrow morning?"  
"Yeah. I'll be here."  
  



	2. Truth, parts 5-7

About ten minutes later Sarah MacKenzie was on her way back from the hospital. It was somewhat hard to drive with her tear filled eyes, but somehow she was managing. Instead of going home though, she found herself driving her way over to her best friend's apartment. As soon as she got there she climbed up the stairs, found his spare key and let herself in. The second the door shut behind her in his empty apartment she started sobbing, and sank to the ground. It couldn't be possible that she would never see Harm again. At the hospital, except for feeling a rising panic, she had been practically numb to everything that was going on. Now that she was here where he lived, surrounded by his things, all the emotions hit her suddenly. She was painfully terrified that she might never see him again; that the time when she had refused to wish him luck before leaving would be the last time that she would see him alive. The doctor's words "might not make it through the night" came to her mind. She didn't know how she would make it through a night if she lost him. She was angry at herself for how she had treated him before he left. He couldn't die with his last memory of her being like that. He had to live.   
It was forty minutes later when she picked herself up off the floor. She looked around. There was absolutely nothing she could do here. It was just like at the hospital. She couldn't help him in any way. There weren't even any plants for her to water, or pets for her to take care of. She walked around the apartment looking at his things and reminiscing. She was amazed at how many things she had memories connected with. Mac stopped at his bookshelf where he had a picture of the two of them and smiled. She almost started crying again, but held herself together. Her eyes closed for a moment and the exhaustion that hadn't been noticed before swept over her. She walked over to his bed and leaned back against one of his pillows. She thought that she would just lay there for a few minutes, but instead fell into a restless sleep.   
  
  
At a little before five-thirty in the morning, Chloe Madison was awake and sitting restlessly on the couch at the Roberts residence, staring at the phone. She was worried about her 'big sister.' She hadn't looked good when they had all left the hospital and Chloe was feeling guilty about not being there for her. Mac had said she needed time alone, but she probably needed someone to talk to. Sarah had always been there for her, after all. She sighed. She wanted to call and check on her, but she wasn't sure she could do it without Bud or Harriet catching her, and Mac might not be awake yet. She debated for a moment with herself over whether she should or not.   
"Oh, heck," she muttered to herself. "Sarah never sleeps well, if at all, when she's upset over something anyway." She picked up the phone and started dialing. About halfway through Mac's phone number Lt. Roberts walked in.   
"What are you doing?" he asked.  
"Calling someone," she answered cryptically. Bud gave a slight grin.  
"Okay, who are you calling then?"  
"Mac." Bud practically panicked.   
"Ohmygosh-no, don't!" Chloe put the phone in her lap.  
"What?" Bud made himself calm down a bit.  
"I really don't think you should do that, Chloe."  
"Why?"  
"Well, Colonel MacKenzie's probably really upset. She probably doesn't want to chat right now."  
"I'm not calling her to 'chat,' I'm calling her to see how she's doing. She didn't look very good last night and I want to make sure she's okay. We promised we'd always be there for each other."  
"I'm sure she'll be at the hospital when we get there. Can you talk to her then?"  
"I'm not going to talk long. I'm just going to call her and see how she's doing. When we get to the hospital she's just going to try to be strong for everyone else. If I don't talk to her now, I won't know how she's really doing. Please. She's my big sister, and my best friend. Best friends are supposed to look out for each other."   
"Okay," Bud finally relented, seeing that she was really worried about Mac. "Just don't talk too long. She's probably trying to get ready to leave, and we need to be doing the same."  
"Okay." She dialed the number for Sarah's apartment. No one answered the phone, however, and eventually the answering machine picked up. Chloe hung up the phone, then looked over at Bud. "She's not there."  
"Who's not there?" asked Harriet as she walked in the room with little A.J.   
"Mac. She didn't answer the phone at her apartment."  
"Really?" Bud said. "I would have thought she'd pick up in case someone called about the Commander."  
"Maybe she's still asleep," suggested Harriet.  
"Maybe," Chloe said, "but I don't think so. She was really upset when she left last night and she never sleeps well when she's upset over something. Anyhow, she has a phone right by her bed. I think it would have woken her up."  
"Maybe she didn't leave the hospital," Lt. Roberts wondered. "Of course the Admiral practically ordered us to go home…"  
"No, she left," said Chloe. "I saw her driving out of the parking lot."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah. I know the number on her license plate."  
"Maybe she went to the Commander's apartment," Harriet suggested.  
"Why would she do that?" Bud asked her.  
"Well, she's worried about him. Maybe she thought it would make her feel better to be around his things."  
"I don't know, Harriet…"  
"Well, where else would she have gone?"  
"I bet she did go there," Chloe spoke up.  
"Wait! She probably went to Mic's place!" said Lt. Sims.  
"I don't think so." Both Lieutenants turned to face the girl on their couch.  
"Why not?"  
"Well, I don't know what happened but I think they called off the wedding."  
"I know. They would have delayed everything given the circumstances," Harriet told her.  
"No, I mean I think they called it off permanently."  
"WHAT!" the two adults yelled, startling both their son and their guest.  
"What makes you think that?" Harriet asked.  
"When she was driving to the hospital I noticed that her engagement ring was gone, and she and Mic were in that room by themselves for an awfully long time. I didn't think it would be a good idea to ask her anything about it, though. That's one of the reasons I wanted to call her."   
"I can't believe they would have just called it off," said Bud.  
"Anyway, she probably is over at his apartment."  
"Why don't we go over there on the way to the hospital and see if she is there and if she needs a ride," Lt. Roberts suggested. Harriet and Chloe nodded. Thirty-five minutes later they pulled up in front of Commander Rabb's building, and Bud walked upstairs to find the Colonel.  
  
  
  
At about six a.m. Mac woke up. As soon as she looked around her the events of the previous night came back to her. She sighed and stood up, glancing fondly down at a picture of Harm and Bud by 'Sarah,' her partner's beloved bi-plane. A noise startled her and she looked up just in time to see Renee Peterson coming into the apartment. They both stopped where they were and stared at each other for about half of a minute before Renee broke the silence.  
"What are you doing here?" she demanded.  
"N-nothing," Mac said nervously. "I was just going to see if anything needed to be done at his apartment."  
"Really," Renee said coldly. Mac nodded. "Well, that's not really your place is it?"  
"Excuse me?" Sarah asked, startled at her sharpness.  
"Excuse me," Renee mimicked. "You are not his girlfriend. I am. You have no business being here. I do. Get out!"  
"What? You're just going to kick me out? This isn't your place."  
"Well, it certainly isn't your apartment, either, is it? Harm wanted me to be here. He gave me a key to the place. Can you say that for yourself?" Sarah was taken aback. Renee took her silence to mean that she had no argument against her. "That's what I thought. Now get out before I call the police."  
"How dare you!" Mac snapped at her. "I have every right to be here. Harm was my partner and best friend."  
"Oh, no, he wasn't. I was his best friend. I was his girlfriend. Do you understand that? I was his. He was mine-not yours. He didn't love you. He was going to let you walk up the aisle tomorrow and not say a thing about it. And why would he do that? Because he didn't want you. He wanted me. He was happy with me. We loved each other. You just kept trying to get in the way, didn't you? Well, you only deluded yourself. He never cared for you. You were a partner, nothing more. I don't know where you get off thinking that he may have loved you, or that he was even a best friend. I mean, Harm was a wonderful person. Why would he want someone like you? Let's see… you're an alcoholic, an adulteress-every man you ever care about winds up dying. Of course, that's it isn't it. You cared for Harm, and now he's dying. How typical." Mac was shocked, and felt like she was in pain, but still tried to defend herself despite the rising tears.  
"It's not my fault…"  
"OF COURSE IT'S YOUR FAULT! Do you get that? It's all your fault! He was flying home for your wedding. You made him feel guilty, so he was going to make sure he didn't miss it and he's dying because of it! HE'S DYING BECAUSE OF YOU!" Mac stood silently, staring at Renee. She had absolutely nothing to say. Her face was pale and her eyes had a blank, empty look in them. Renee stood about ten yards away from her crying. Lt. Roberts was standing unnoticed by the door, completely unnerved by what he had just seen.   
"Umm… Excuse me, Colonel; Miss Peterson," he said, scaring them both. "I'm sorry, ma'am, Chloe tried to call your apartment and you didn't answer, so we thought you might be here and came by. Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine, Lieutenant," Sarah said quietly. "Are you on your way to the hospital?"  
"Yes ma'am."   
"Okay. I'll follow you there."  
"Do you want to ride with us, ma'am… I mean, are you okay driving?" he asked, concerned for her after what he had just seen.  
"I'll be fine, Bud, thank you. Is Chloe with you?"  
"Yes. She's still in the car with Harriet and baby A.J."  
"Okay. I'll let her ride with me."  
"Yes, ma'am." Mac walked out of the apartment and went downstairs to get her 'little sister.' When she was gone Bud stood glaring at Renee.  
"What? You're not going to offer me a ride?" said Renee sarcastically.  
"How could you say those things to Colonel MacKenzie? She didn't do anything wrong."  
"She got him killed!"  
"He's not dead, Miss Peterson! And what happened wasn't the Colonel's fault. She didn't set the dates for the Commander's carrier qualifications or make the plane malfunction. It was an accident. Blaming people isn't going to make the situation any better. I consider Colonel MacKenzie to be a good friend, so normally after the way you treated her I wouldn't even consider talking to you, but I know you're worried as much as the rest of us, so if you want you can ride with us, but only on one condition."  
"Oh, what's that?"  
"When we get to the hospital you apologize to Colonel MacKenzie for what you said and tell her that you didn't mean it and only yelled at her because you were so upset."  
"Here's the problem with that, Lieutenant. I did mean what I said to her and I have absolutely no intention of apologizing to the woman that put my boyfriend in the hospital."  
"Fine. Forget I asked. You can get to Bethesda by yourself."  
Bud slammed the door shut as he walked out of the apartment, and Renee collapsed sobbing behind the door.  
  
  
**********  
  
Hours later, Mac was sitting in the waiting room on the fifth floor of Bethesda, staring out the window at the rain. She mentally kicked herself for not having brought a few case files, but then figured that she wouldn't have been able to concentrate on them any more than she had been able to concentrate on the magazines Harriet had let her borrow. All morning her mind had been drifting back to what Renee had said, which was what she was thinking about at the moment.  
"She was right," Sarah whispered quietly to herself.  
"Did you say something, Colonel?" asked Lt. Sims, who was sitting a few chairs away from her.  
"Oh, no. I was just mumbling to myself." She tried to smile convincingly. Harriet frowned slightly. Her husband had informed her of what had happened that morning in Commander Rabb's apartment, and she knew that Colonel MacKenzie wouldn't be taking it lightly. She had tried talking to her some while they were waiting, but Mac hadn't been in the mood. She didn't know what to do. The doctor had said that while it was good that Harm had made it through the night, he still hadn't improved, and now Sarah was trying to act like everything was just fine when in fact she looked exhausted and sick. She wished Bud or the Admiral or even one of the others from the JAG office were there to talk to, but her husband and Chloe had gone with their C.O. to ask the doctor if anything had changed and no one else was coming to the hospital until later that afternoon. Harriet felt her throat getting tight as tears started forming in her eyes. She tried to hide it but started sniffling despite her own efforts. Mac looked up.  
"Harriet? Harriet… It's okay. I'm sure Harm will be fine…"  
"No, you're not ma'am. You're not any more sure than anyone else is, and it's not just that…"  
"What els…"  
"You won't even talk to anyone, Colonel! Bud told me about what happened with you and Renee, and I know you're blaming yourself for what happened even though it's not your fault, and you won't talk to me. I thought I was a friend of yours." Mac sighed and handed her a tissue out of her purse.  
"Harriet, you are a very good friend of mine. I'm sorry I haven't been very talkative, but I've just been thinking about things. I don't suppose I'm in a very social mood at the moment." They sat silently for a moment before the Lieutenant broke the silence.  
"I know. I know, ma'am, and I'm sorry. I guess I just got a little bit upset with everything that has been going on."  
"It's okay. We've all been more emotional than usual lately."  
"Speaking of emotional, how are you about what Renee said to you earlier?" Mac smiled at her faintly.  
"Don't worry about that. She's just as on edge as the rest of us, and I guess she just took it out on me. I'm okay, though."  
"Are you sure, ma'am?"  
"I'm sure. And listen, when we're off duty, you really should call me Mac."  
"Um…. Okay. Mac. Can I ask you something else?"  
"Sure. What?"  
"What happened to your engagement ring?" Sarah looked down at the finger where the ring had been.  
"I gave it back to Mic."  
"Temporarily or permanently?" Mac sighed.  
"Permanently." She paused briefly. "How long have you been wanting to ask me that?"   
"Since this morning when Chloe mentioned it."  
"That girl." Mac shook her head.  
"She was really worried about you."  
"She's a good kid."  
"Yes, ma'am…. I mean, Mac." Harriet grinned. "Old habits are hard to break, I guess." Sarah smiled. "Seriously, how are you feeling?"  
"Right now I'm just hoping and praying that Harm will be okay. I don't think I've ever prayed so much about anything in my life. I think everything else could fall apart, but if he was okay that would be all that mattered."  
"I know how you feel. When Bud was on that submarine that was stolen I didn't care about anything but him being back home and safe. If anything ever happened to him I don't know what I'd do."   
"I don't know what I'd do if I lost Harm. He's been my best friend for so long, and we've been through so much together."  
"Permission to speak freely?" Mac nodded.  
"Is there a chance that the Commander might be more than just a best friend to you?" Sarah laughed nervously.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Are you in love with him?" Mac paled. Harriet hadn't thought that it would have been possible for her to become any paler than she already had been from worrying about Harm, but evidently it was.   
"We've been best friends for a long time, Harriet. We have done a lot…"  
"Respectfully, ma'am, that's not what I asked." Mac's mind was racing. Harriet had come out and asked her the one question she never wanted to answer out loud. What on earth was she supposed to say? Thankfully for her, the Admiral chose just that moment to walk in the door.  
"Colonel, Lieutenant. The doctor has some news for us."  
  
**********  
  
Meanwhile Mic was on his way from the parking lot to the entrance of Bethesda. Before he got there, however, he saw a familiar woman crying on a bench.  
"Renee?" he asked, a little bit worried and surprised at the same time. The blond woman looked up and just barely managed to recognize the tall, dark Australian through her tears. "Harm's not…" She shook her head.  
"No, he's not dead. At least I don't think so. I haven't been in there to ask."  
"Why not?"  
"I can't face them."  
"Can't face who?"  
"Mac. Bud. All of them. I'm sure they all know by now."  
"Know what?"  
"What, Mac hasn't told you?"  
"No. I haven't talked to her since everyone left JAG to come here when Harm first came in."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. We broke off the engagement."  
"Oh, no. Are you okay?"  
"Not really, but we're not talking about me right now. What happened to you?"  
"I happened to me," she replied sarcastically before pouring her heart out about the whole incident and how she had chewed Colonel MacKenzie out. Mic just stared on as if in shock. "I feel just awful. I always worried that somehow she would take him from me, and I suppose when he crashed I thought that in a morbid sort of way, she had. I just kept dwelling on that so when I got to his apartment and saw her there I just blew up at her. I know it's kind of ridiculous."   
"No, it's not. You love Harm and thought you might lose him to her. You and I both know how close they are."  
"I still shouldn't have said what I did."  
"No, probably not. I do understand why you said it, though. I just hope she's not beating herself up about it too much. She's a lot more sensitive than she lets people know, and has a bad habit of taking things too personally."  
"It would have been kind of hard for her not to take what I said personally."  
"I'm sure she realizes you were upset."  
"I still feel bad." She smiled at him. "You're a good man, Mic. I hope you do find someone nice."  
"Well, you wouldn't be so bad if you weren't taken," he joked. She laughed for the first time that day. "Come on. Let's go inside and see how he's doing."  



End file.
